Sunday, January 29, 2012

My Happiness Project

It's been three and a half years now since I made an important discovery: Happiness doesn't just 'happen', it is created, and sometimes forced. There are moments of happiness that fall into our lives like an unexpected rainstorm, and there are mundane dry spells where it seems like finding happiness is like searching for a drink of water in the middle of the Sahara Desert. 

Three and a half years ago I was abandoned by my husband, moved with four children from Nevada to Washington, set up home for the five six of us and was about to give birth to my fifth child. I had a case of hives like I had never experienced before and I literally wanted to rip my skin off! It was a moment in my life where I had almost given up on happiness....almost. I was scared, unsettled, lonely...and pregnant. Given all this, there was something inside of me (besides the constant stirring of a precious human life) that refused to allow my circumstances to dictate whether or not I could be happy. It may have been my stubborn nature, it may have been human nature's innate will to survive....I believe it was a combination of the two, infused by the sustenance of God's grace, that got me through.

Looking back, I would never have asked God for those circumstances but now I would never ask God to take those trying times back. Helen Keller said it best when she said,  "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." This rings so true for me!

Having experienced such great pain, I feel like I have been able to experience joy in an increasingly more intense way. I am happy. Overwhelmed...frequently....but happy.

Having said that, I am embarking on what I am going to call a Happiness Project. I came across a book by the same name at my sister's house and by the end of the first page I knew it was something I wanted to do. It is not a quest to find happiness (that would imply I was currently void of it), but rather specific resolutions, or 'happiness habits' that I intend to make second nature in my life in order to get me through those 'dry spells' that we all experience.

The book is set up with resolutions to follow by the month, and considering it starts in January, and we can smell February right around the corner, my 'Project' will look a little different than the outline in the book. I plan on documenting all my findings on this blog. For the next four weeks I will work on acquiring specific habits that will improve my health of mind and body.

  1. Go to sleep earlier. (This will require a LOT of will power, because night time is my time)
  2. Exercise Better (More regular, more varied)
  3. Toss, restore, organize (I love to do this so I'm really excited to simplify even more)
  4. Tackle a nagging task (I admit it, I'm a big procrastinator....)
Okay, February 19th (much earlier than this hour) I will be documenting the results of  a months worth of efforts to live in the habit of happiness. I plan on keeping my blog up to date on what I am accomplishing in the by and by.

Happy days to all!

Gina.
3 1/3 years ago, this little girl brought me more happiness than I ever thought possible, and she continues to do so every day.



Monday, January 9, 2012

Yes, Ma'am, I DO have my hands full!

Among my circle of friends, family and acquaintances my family of five (children, that is) ranks as pretty average sized...with a little more hands and toes than most, but not as much as many. I know many families with seven kids or more, including my sisters family.  As I've mentioned before, I am one of 10 (hers/his/theirs). But every mother with four or more children knows the parade of comments that strangers must feel the need to make. Here are a few that I hear often and some of the replies I've either said or wished I'd said.

"Are they all yours?" - Actual reply: "Heck ya, you think I'd take someone else's kids shopping with me?!!"

"Haven't you figured out what causes that?" (always followed by hysterical laughter as though it was an original statement) - Actual reply: "courtesy laugh", Imagined reply: "No, sir, they just kept coming as though I hit the jackpot...guess I'm just lucky!"

"Are you going to have any more?"  - Pre-divorce answer: "Probably", Now: "Only God knows.", Imagined reply, "Well, now, let me pull out my crystal ball....."

One of my least favorites before I had Isabelle, "Are you going to try for a girl?" - Imagined reply, "Tell me now, how does one try for a girl, do you do it any differently?"

And, of course, the one I inevitably hear every time I take all five of them to the grocery store, "My, you have your hands full!!" I hear this so often that when a friendly elderly gent stopped to ask Benjamin if he was my big helper, Benjamin replied, "Yep, we give her full hands."

That's right...and a full heart and a full life.

All the cousins living in WA (in my parents small living room!)