Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A Step in the Right Direction


"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

I mentioned in an earlier post that my dream is to make a living as a photographer capturing beautiful moments and freezing them in time for the enjoyment of generations to come.  I didn't know how or when that would start, but within the past month I have stumbled upon a discovery that, although many have probably already known, was something new to me. It turns out that if you let your dreams and aspirations out of your head and heart, and into the world, something will happen.

To announce my dreams to others was always a fear of mine. I feared that if I let them made known and then never saw them to completion, I would be looked at as a failure.  But what I have discovered is that when our dreams are made known, others are more than willing to help you make your dreams a reality!

By mentioning my love for photography, and my desire to turn my hobby into a career to others, doors have been opened in ways I never imagined. Most recently, the staff at St. Mary's Academy asked me to do the school pictures this year. I was elated to say the least! My first real photography job! So with my far-from-professional equipment and some backgrounds I bought at the Goodwill, I arrived at St. Mary's on "Picture Day" full of excitement and anxiety. Excitement that I got to spend a day doing what I loved doing, and anxiety over the thought that I wouldn't be able to do it well enough.


I started with Sr. Bernardine Marie's class, the K-2nd graders. They were exceptionally cooperative! One by one, I had them climb up onto the stool, show me their grandest smiles, and hop on down. The middle grades, 3-5th graders, were next and were also pretty easy subjects, despite the fact that they had to sit very still because I didn't have the best lighting and couldn't use my flash on account of the undesirable dark shadow that would appear behind their heads.


Finally, the 6-8th graders. Is it possible that students become more immature as they age? They seemed to come with two goals in mind:  not to smile, and to act as if getting their pictures taken was absolute torture! Despite their resistance, I captured their smiles (or at least their 'trying-not-to-smile' smiles), and sent them on their way.

By the end of the day, I felt I had what it takes. A dream. That is all it takes. Well, a dream and the courage to share that dream with others. I won't make a dime for myself for the work put in to the final product, but I will have hopefully earned Saint Mary's enough money for the yearbooks (which I have been asked to help with!) and I earned experience, the most valuable asset of all. 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Slowin' down...




Our neighbors house got broken into last Saturday. It happened between 3:30 and 5:30 pm, which means it was barely dark out yet. Even creepier, all the kids and I were here at home each attending to our own lazy happenings. I was napping on the couch when my neighbor knocked on the door asking to use my phone. "Did you happen to see or hear anything?" she asked. The truth is, the frequent traffic back and forth on our coul de sac has failed to attract my attention anymore as it is such a "normal" way of life around here.

The real truth though, is that I am not as attentive as I'd like to be. I feel like lately I've been going through life with tunnel vision, not observing the details that make life so interesting. I wake up, get dressed, make sure everyone is ready on time for where they have to go, work, eat, sleep and start all over. Some of "details" are often hurdles and I find myself simply relieved when I am over them.

One of the most rewarding aspects of motherhood is being able to experience the way our children observe the world around them. They tend to notice all the details, especially the ones you don't want them to.  They notice when we pay more attention to the computer than to them, they notice negative inflections in our voices and when we roll our eyes at yet another mention of what they want for their birthday (even when the birthday isn't for six more months.) But they also notice the Christmas tree in the upstairs window way down the street, and every time the air-filled, attention grabbing thingy at the local car dealership changes (" Look! Now its Uncle Sam! Look! Now its an eagle! Look! Now its a gigantic ape!).

I can lock my doors and trust in God that my house won't get broken into, and yet I couldn't stop it if it happened. But I refuse from this point on to allow my busy life to rob me of the ability to notice the wonderful details that make life memorable. My goal is to notice something positive every day: about my kids, my neighbor (in a general "everyone other than me" kind of way) and the world around me. If we stop to appreciate the good, I believe whole-heartedly that it truly is  "A Wonderful Life".

Blessed Advent to all,

Gina.