Panic is a Real Thing

Working at my children's school has allowed me to be there for them in ways I never imagined I would have to. Today while I was teaching P.E., I noticed that one of my daughters did not seem like herself. She was doing really well at the game we were playing but never looked happy or enthusiastic. Afterward, at lunch, I asked what was wrong and she ignored me, so I chalked it up to adolescent angst. She finally came and found me in my classroom and emotionally vomited on me for being uncaring and mad at her. I am used to teens letting out their frustrations on me so I wasn't really phased. Pretty soon she was hyperventilating, crying and talking about feeling like she was 'outside of herself'. I tried to help her breathe slowly, but she just couldn't do it.

In the middle of it her teacher came in and told her she can't leave lunch without telling the person in charge where she is. This added to her anxiety.  Her teacher let her stay, however, and I continued to talk with her. She began to bring up all her insecurities that maybe had some basis in reality but were totally blown out of proportion.  Finally she asked if I could just hug her. Why didn't I just do this in the first place?!! (insert mom guilt) I hugged her tight. As I did so, I looked up on my phone what to do during a panic attack and found some great information from healthline.com. In a very calm voice I read 11 Ways to Stop a Panic Attack. They were all very doable and pretty soon my little girl was breathing slowly and and her muscles had relaxed in my arms.

Both of my girls have tried to explain to me certain symptoms of anxiety that they were experiencing in the past year. I never understood fully what it was, and neither did they. After today's experience and a recent brief conversation with a couple of my cousins, I realized it's time to talk to them about anxiety, panic attacks and what they can do to help themselves. I have never experienced this myself, however, in the past, I have experienced anxiety's melancholic little sister, depression.  I do know many in my family who have had anxiety and panic attacks and from what I understand, it does run in families so I shouldn't be surprised it would show up in some of my children. I have a lot to learn, but this I know, patience, love and understanding is what I can offer them now.

Have you ever experienced a full on panic attack? Do you know kids who have these issues? Any and all advice is appreciated!

A Day to Remember

It has been a really long time since I have written a post, but my heart is longing to write again after a period of too busyness lack of creative thought. Today I was contemplating how to talk to my young students about 9/11. It is part of our country's history now, so should I talk about it? We say, 'never forget', but at what age do children need to learn to "remember". I wanted to share with them the importance of the day without making them feel scared or insecure in the world they live in. All of this consideration has brought that day's events so clearly back to mind. Sometimes, on this day, I can feel the same pit in my stomach that I felt that day, and tears would flow so easily if I let them.

I had just gotten married four months prior to the day. I worked in the office at the WA State Dept. of Natural Resources and my husband worked for DNR in the field as a Wildland firefighter. The day was sunny, nice...especially nice, I thought. I got out of my car and started to walk into work, passing the mechanic I said, "Good morning!" in an especially bright tone, because it was going to be a great day...I could just feel it. "If you can call it that!" the mechanic replied. Thinking he was pretty grumpy for such a beautiful day, I responded, "Why do you say that?" "Haven't you heard? Our country is being attacked!" I was confused and alarmed at what he said but figured he was exaggerating about whatever he was talking about. I entered the building and the receptionist told me she didn't know exactly what was happening but a plane had just hit a building in New York and they were talking about it being intentional. She told me they set up a T.V. in the back. In shock, I hurried to the back just in time to see the second plane hit the second tower and a chilling gasp filled the room by all who witnessed it. We watched in horror for the next few minutes when they told us we should all go home and be with our families. My thoughts immediately went to my husband... I needed to know he was safe and let him know I was coming home. He had the day off and was already watching the news as the towers now burned side by side with the whole world watching. I remember the feeling in my hands as I drove home...they shook, they were cold even though it was a warm, late summer morning. I had a pit in my stomach as I feared the known and even more the unknown.

Once home, my husband and I were glued, as was much of the nation, to the news. Every channel showed the image of the two towers burning and chaos in the streets of New York City. It felt so far away and yet so close. Then, in a moment, the first tower crumbled, live, for the whole world to watch. Realization that our country was under attack was more apparent when the news showed the Pentagon on fire, then a lonely field in Pennsylvania. Fear set in....where next? What now?

Those memories are as fresh now as the moment they came to pass. When it came time to talk to my students about what today was, I knew the truth was way to scary for their innocent hearts to hear. I knew I had to share something about this day but not all that weighed heavily on my heart. I printed a page to color:

Then I oh so briefly described what happened, but our focus was on 911. I pointed out what the date was, 9/11/19,  and told them how and why to call 911. We talked about how many people on that day must have called 911 and how brave the police officers and firefighters who responded were.  We prayed for all first responders, those who died and those who even today put their lives on the line to save others.

I am grateful for the opportunity to impart gratitude in these young hearts toward our first responders. That is what they can take away from this day, until they are old enough to learn the sad details in full.

It is strange to me to think that to most students in school at this point, this occurred before they were born. To my own children, it is history. I try to remind them each year how united our country became after the events of this day. How nobody seemed a stranger, American flags flew from every car, every home, people talked to each other and we all seemed proud to be Americans.  We say 'Never Forget', but I think we already have. We've forgotten that we should be proud to be Americans. We've forgotten that we are here to help one another and build one another up. How far we've come! I pray that it doesn't take another tragedy before we become united once more. Let's honor this day and the memories of those who died tragically by being kind to one another, being proud and grateful to live in this great (even if faulty) country of ours, and by thanking those who risk their lives every day to save others.

https://youtu.be/EEogeIIOJzU