Limitations

I actually wanted to name this post "What I Wish I Could Do If I Had the Time and Resources (Not to Mention Patience)" but that might scare a few people away. Today I found myself with the longing feeling of desire for a husband. Not, necessarily my ex-husband, but just a husband, and a longing not for the company, but for the functionality.

The day started out, ironically, by meeting my ex to get the kids back after a two day visit with their dad. From there, we went to the chiropractor and then to Walmart to buy Benjamin a new bed since his old one was sagging in the middle after three years of being jumped on from the top of the bunk beds. The six of us then proceeded to Lowe's to check out shelves to help me organize the boys' belongings. Then we were home and it was time to relax. I was exhausted after having the rare opportunity to go out with friends the night before.

This is when I got to do one of my favorite things in the world. Snuggle on the couch with one of my kids. We fell asleep and the others played quietly for at least a glorious and wonderful hour-and-a-half! When I woke up to someone whispering in my ear, "I'm hungry", and someone else giggling as they gently lifted my eyelids, I knew that rest for the weary had come to an abrupt end.

We ate dinner and that gave me the energy to begin the process of assembling Ben's new bed. A few of my kids are coming down with colds and Cecelia, being one of them, was not in her sunniest disposition. She planted herself next to me in the boys' room and whined about this and that. I try to ignore whining because to respond to it, I believe, reinforces it. And yet, it is scientifically proven (really, I read an article about this) that whining is the most annoying and distracting noise known to humankind. How can you ignore that!! Anyway, although, I did not enjoy assembling the bed and I found myself wishing the whole time that I could delegate the task to a male, I was proud of the fact that I was getting it done.

It was time for the final touches, the sides that extended about 18 inches from the headboard. That was the moment where any sense of pride in my handiwomanship vanished in the blink of an eye. Somehow, I assembled most of the pieces upside down!! I had already been at if for almost two hours and I would have to unassemble just about the entire thing to correct my mistake. I was frustrated, angry and I wanted to cry. Okay, what I really wanted to do is kick the darn thing, throw it out the window and spit on it. I knew, however, not only would that set a bad example for the littles, but it wouldn't get me anywhere. A few tears did escape though.

I stood there trying to decide what to do and Cecelia was crying, literally begging me to put her to bed, so I figured I needed to step away. I picked her up and went to lay her down. As I approached her room, the other kids ran from there, down the hall. I saw why as I opened the door....it appeared a hurricane had touched down and swept the room from wall to wall....this room I spent time cleaning and decorating while the kids were at their dads. I will skip the details of what happened next, but it wasn't pretty.

A long story short, I decided the bed didn't need the side rails, the few tears that escaped earlier turned into a torrential downpour, and when I put the shelves up in the boys' room, I will have my dad over for dinner.

Single parenthood has showed me I am stronger in a lot of ways than I ever believed possible, but it has also brought me to my knees in humility begging God for the strength to just endure the moment. It has showed me I have limitations, even though I try to do it all myself. But it has also showed me the willingness and kindness of those I am lucky to call my family and friends.

Note to Self: Get more sleep! (It's part of the Happiness Project, you know!)

Happy day to all,

Gina.

In his eyes....as far as his bed goes....I can do no wrong.