Taking Charge...Again

In the movie "We Were Soldiers" a character asks Mel Gibson's character "Can you be a soldier and a father?" Gibson's reply was, "I believe that being good at one makes me better at the other."

I think that is starting to happen to me. I'm not a soldier in the military sense, but I am a soldier fighting the moral war that society is waging on children. Today, I put to use a discipline practice that we use at school. When the kids get in trouble they are expected to write an essay containing four major points:

1. What did I do wrong
2. Why should I not do it again
3. What rule did I break or what virtue do I need to work on, and,
4. My apology

I had one particular child who got in trouble today for not doing his work....and then throwing a major fit when he was forced to give up his recess time to complete what should have already been done. Because of the trouble he gave his teacher, I insisted he write her an apology letter that contained these four parts. He had to do this last week and I told his teacher that I wanted to know every incident where his behavior was out of line, so I could reinforce the lessons that are being taught at school.

Of course, this did not sit well with him. He dawdled, fiddle-farted and boondoggled until I informed him that he now had to write a letter to me, as well, for disobeying. That got the water works started! I sat with him and helped him with his letter to his teacher. When his jaw tightened, and his lower lip hung in floppy defiance, I took the few words he had written down and crumpled up the paper. Having been forewarned that if his attitude was bad, he would have to start over, I was forced to follow through with his consequence. Now he knew I was serious. Over time, I believe, my own lack of consistency has led my children to think that they can push me to a point where I give up and eventually ease off the consequence, but I am resolving to persevere from this point forward....again.

His handwriting had to be neat and his attitude had to be good. He got it done without further ado and without my help (but with my prompting) he began the letter to me, which went as follows:

Sorry Mom I bisodabe you and I had a bad adutood. I will work on having a good adutood, love XXXXX.

(Looks like he still needs work on his B's and D's) What this does, is make him think about not only what he did, but what he needs to do differently in the future. When he finished, he gave me a big hug, and was in the best of moods during dinner.

Later, another child was being mean to this child and was made to write him an apology letter; it went as follows:

Dear XXXXX,
I kicked you in the stomach. I won't do it again because it's not being nice. I was disobeying the rule, hands, feet and objects to myself. I am so sorry.
From, XXXXX
 

As you can see, we had a wonderful evening..... Anyway, soon homework was completed and everyone was getting along marvelously.  I am encouraged to persevere in these types of disciplines at home because I have to enforce them at school as well, and because of this, I believe that being a teacher is making me a better mom.  I saw an old teacher of mine at the school the other day and she handed me an article she had printed off from a newspaper clipping. It was about how mothers used to be in control of their children but how, nowadays, the children seem to rule the roost. I think maybe she was trying to tell me something....I'm not sure. I don't want my children to fear me...I just want to be able to give them "the look" and get an immediate shift in behavior.

 I think I'm on my way....however....last night I experienced one of those weird twilight zone moments where a memory of my childhood was reenacted only I was the parent and my children took the place I held long ago. As I was in the girls' room, reading to them on Cecelia's bed, the boys kept sneaking into the room, thinking I didn't see them. This had them thinking that they were the funniest things since sliced bread (when was sliced bread ever funny?). I yelled at them a couple times to "knock it off and get in bed!!" That didn't work. They kept sneaking in and laughing their annoying "I'm doing something naughty hahaha" laugh. After the story was over and the girls were tucked into bed for the night, I went into the boys' room and swatted each one on their behinds. They all began howling like they were about to die. I sat and stared at them thinking, "I know I didn't smack them that hard...why in the world are they crying?" Then, one by one, the fake cries turned into laughter and I sat there with my 'trying-hard-not-to-smile' mouth twitching spontaneously until it gave way to the real thing. Defeat. It tasted bad.

Cheers to life, through trials and triumphs!

Gina.

This is what I wanted to do today....before I took control. 

 

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