I'm Happy to Announce....

Gratitude is one of the sweet shortcuts to finding peace of mind and happiness inside. No matter what is going on outside of us, there's always something we could be grateful for.

- Barry Neil Kaufman

Today I am grateful that my children's health is improving, that my brother thinks I am smart enough to proof read his college writing assignments, that we didn't have any extracurricular activities that took us away from home after school/work today, and that Hunter has the greatest baseball coach in the world (at least in my opinion).

My happiness project has been well under way for over a month now. When I began, I promised to return in a month and report on how things are going. I think the thing that has had the greatest influence on this "project" is merely the fact that I choose to be happy. I find Mr. Kaufman's above quote to be right on. If we go looking for happiness, it can be very elusive, but if we choose it, it will be a very willing tenant of our souls.

Allow me to review my goals:

• Go to sleep earlier. Frankly, I havn't. I am still working on this goal, and I tell myself, "You are going to bed by 10 tonight." and then I look at the clock and its well after bedtime. So I have yet to see the fruits of this goal.
• Exercise better. Well...I've got a great routine, and when I do it I am very happy, but the truth is, the couch and a good book  the computer are very enticing. This goal needs work. I figure if I get goal #1 down, this one will be easier.
• Toss, restore, organize. I am proud to announce that although this one is forever on-going, this goal is in the bag. I have been a tossing and organizing fanatic! I feel like things have no hold on me, and at the same time, my personality is beginning to show through in my home.
• Tackle a nagging task. I have been successful in this goal as well. In fact, I love days, like yesterday, when I get so much of the yucky stuff taken care of that I begin to realize it's only yucky stuff when it's stuck on my mind. The actual doing of the tasks isn't bad at all and getting it done leaves me with a definite feeling of happy contentment.

It appears that I am 50% sucessful, but to me I am 100% sucessful because all of these goals are on track to becoming habits. There won't be a point where I can say, 'Okay, I've reached my goal, now I can stop'.

March has a whole new set of 'goals', or habits to acquire. I will post these as I fine tune what they will be, and how I want them to influence my life. February's goals were centered around gaining more energy. One of the best things I've done to gain more energy is cut out sugar.  Those white chocolate mochas I used to crave now make me cringe and I have discovered the God-given greatness of stevia.

Happy days to all,

Gina

P.S. How could I have forgotten to mention one of my biggest sources of happiness this week? Last night while Hunter was having his first baseball practice of the year, my other kids asked Coach Bill if they could play with the hula hoops that were part of his training equipment. He obliged and the four of them each grabbed a hoop and trotted off to the other side of the gym. At first, my attention was on Hunter and what he was doing, but the movements caught my eye and I began to  watch the kids attempting to swing the hoops around their hips..hula style. Samuel was doing pretty well, Isabelle decided to hold the hoop on end and jump through it, Cecelia held it in two hands and wiggled back and forth.....and Ben.....oh Ben! He had the hoop around his waste and he maneuvered it quite well, but the way he moved to make it twirl...well, picture the love child of C3PO and Twyla Tharp...on fast forward.

It was one of those moments where you laugh and other people laugh with you....and then you're still laughing when everyone else stops....and then tears are rolling down your face, and your body is shaking as you try to compose yourself because out of your periferal vision you can see unlaughing people catching sideways glances of you. Yes, that was my highlight so far....and it's only Tuesday. I find myself asking, "What else is in store?" and "Why didn't I have my camcorder?!!"

When I Grow Up I'm Gonna Be......

"You're beautiful, and nice." This is the comment I look forward to every Monday and Friday when I step into the primary grade's classroom at St. Mary's Academy.

At the beginning of the school year the faculty asked any parents who couldn't pay the full tuition if they could help out with various jobs pertaining to the school. These jobs included yard work, fundraising, organizing a phone tree, cleaning or helping in the classroom. I volunteered to help in the classroom twice a week. I was thrilled to be asked to take over with the Kindergartners on Monday and Friday and was also happy to be able to see my boys throughout the day.

What I didn't expect was the joy I'd feel when I would see one of the little ones experience a breakthrough in learning. When they have a light bulb moment and squeal with excitement at the realization that they are reading! Or when they remembered through the weekend that 9+9=18! I didn't expect to laugh so much when, in all innocence, one would call me Sister, another Teacher, and yet another Mr. Stewart (and in her dialect Misto Stewut).

The Kindergarten through Second graders are all in one room, and from across the room I can see Hunter and Benjamin as they are being taught by Sister Bernardine. When I hear that one or the other is struggling with a certain concept I send them positive thought waves and cheer them on hoping they will tune in.

I have been asked to be the sole Kindergarten teacher next year, which means Mon., Wed., and Fridays I will be at St. Mary's passing on my wealth of knowledge of the ever so important concepts of colors, shapes, letters and patterns. More importantly though, I will be able to help these future adults grasp the concepts of self-esteem, confidence and respect for those around them.

Even on challenging days, when the kids have enough energy to power a Morse Code message to Mars and I'm going on my fourth or fifth cup of coffee, I find strength and companionship in the company of the other teachers. OTHER teachers? That sounds so foreign. Me? A teacher? Yes, that is the path that has been laid for me, and with a happy heart, I intend to follow it.

"My" Kindergartners

Ben reading to the class

Limitations

I actually wanted to name this post "What I Wish I Could Do If I Had the Time and Resources (Not to Mention Patience)" but that might scare a few people away. Today I found myself with the longing feeling of desire for a husband. Not, necessarily my ex-husband, but just a husband, and a longing not for the company, but for the functionality.

The day started out, ironically, by meeting my ex to get the kids back after a two day visit with their dad. From there, we went to the chiropractor and then to Walmart to buy Benjamin a new bed since his old one was sagging in the middle after three years of being jumped on from the top of the bunk beds. The six of us then proceeded to Lowe's to check out shelves to help me organize the boys' belongings. Then we were home and it was time to relax. I was exhausted after having the rare opportunity to go out with friends the night before.

This is when I got to do one of my favorite things in the world. Snuggle on the couch with one of my kids. We fell asleep and the others played quietly for at least a glorious and wonderful hour-and-a-half! When I woke up to someone whispering in my ear, "I'm hungry", and someone else giggling as they gently lifted my eyelids, I knew that rest for the weary had come to an abrupt end.

We ate dinner and that gave me the energy to begin the process of assembling Ben's new bed. A few of my kids are coming down with colds and Cecelia, being one of them, was not in her sunniest disposition. She planted herself next to me in the boys' room and whined about this and that. I try to ignore whining because to respond to it, I believe, reinforces it. And yet, it is scientifically proven (really, I read an article about this) that whining is the most annoying and distracting noise known to humankind. How can you ignore that!! Anyway, although, I did not enjoy assembling the bed and I found myself wishing the whole time that I could delegate the task to a male, I was proud of the fact that I was getting it done.

It was time for the final touches, the sides that extended about 18 inches from the headboard. That was the moment where any sense of pride in my handiwomanship vanished in the blink of an eye. Somehow, I assembled most of the pieces upside down!! I had already been at if for almost two hours and I would have to unassemble just about the entire thing to correct my mistake. I was frustrated, angry and I wanted to cry. Okay, what I really wanted to do is kick the darn thing, throw it out the window and spit on it. I knew, however, not only would that set a bad example for the littles, but it wouldn't get me anywhere. A few tears did escape though.

I stood there trying to decide what to do and Cecelia was crying, literally begging me to put her to bed, so I figured I needed to step away. I picked her up and went to lay her down. As I approached her room, the other kids ran from there, down the hall. I saw why as I opened the door....it appeared a hurricane had touched down and swept the room from wall to wall....this room I spent time cleaning and decorating while the kids were at their dads. I will skip the details of what happened next, but it wasn't pretty.

A long story short, I decided the bed didn't need the side rails, the few tears that escaped earlier turned into a torrential downpour, and when I put the shelves up in the boys' room, I will have my dad over for dinner.

Single parenthood has showed me I am stronger in a lot of ways than I ever believed possible, but it has also brought me to my knees in humility begging God for the strength to just endure the moment. It has showed me I have limitations, even though I try to do it all myself. But it has also showed me the willingness and kindness of those I am lucky to call my family and friends.

Note to Self: Get more sleep! (It's part of the Happiness Project, you know!)

Happy day to all,

Gina.

In his eyes....as far as his bed goes....I can do no wrong.

Happiness Project: If

My Happiness Project: The Little Things

Nine days into my Happiness Project I can honestly say I am a happier person. Let me review my goals:

1. Get more sleep. I can't say that I have been successful at this one yet. I have been going to bed an average of 1 hour earlier than before, but I have been about hour off of my goal of a 10pm bedtime. However, because I have been going to bed one hour earlier than my previous average I think this is an accomplishment in itself. I still have a hard time getting up with my alarm though and 'snooze' is still my friend.
2. Exercise better. I am happy to report I am making headway with this goal. I am still not as consistent as I want to be, but as of right now, every muscle in my body is sore to the core. I have been using the strength exercises of kettle bell with the play cardio of a rebounder (fancy lingo for mini trampoline).
3. Organize. This has been and always will be an ongoing task. I have discovered the joy of keeping a day planner. I have my phone numbers, bills, appointments, menus, and grocery lists all in one place. I have dropped off three huge bags off at the Goodwill, and have one in my room that I keep for whenever I come across something that I don't use, don't like or have to pick up too many times. When this fills up....away it goes!
4. Tackle a nagging task. I have been taking care of those nagging tasks (for me usually phone calls I dread making) as soon as I have the opportunity to do so. This, alone, has given me the biggest boost. In doing so, I have received two $150 refunds having to do with health insurance, I have an important appointment scheduled that I've been trying to get for 6 months, and I have a guy coming to fix our furnace.

All this, plus the fact that God has been smiling on the Pacific Northwest for the past week giving us the most unbelievably beautiful weather anyone can remember, along with the 'little things' are making me incredibly content and joyful.

These are some of the 'little things' that have given me happiness this week:

• I was rushing to get the girls and myself out the door this morning when I realized it was an hour earlier than I thought it was! Therefore, we were completely ready to go with an hour to relax!
• Sunny days in Washington are more beautiful than anywhere in the country. Because of all the rain, the air is clear and crisp and the sunshine is sparkling.
• After they went to bed Sunday night, two of my boys were arguing over who loved me more :)
• My furnace is fixed and since we've been huddling by space heaters for so long I feel like we are living in the lap of luxury.
• I had a great conversation with the old guy who picked me up to bring me to the auto shop to get my van back.
• I got my van back.
• A day after mentioning to my sister that I wanted to get some bunk beds for the girls' room, a friend sent me this text, "Do you know anyone who wants bunk beds?"

That last one was a major 'little thing'.

I have also learned that when you surrender yourself to God's will, he works in marvelous ways. That, I believe, is another key to happiness. Surrender.

Happy days to all,

Gina

Babies make me happy!

My Happiness Project: Groundhogs Day

I have a little crush on the cute white bearded old man who stood behind the Groundhog Club handler in Punxsutawney, Pa this morning. His smile reached from ear to ear and his eyes twinkled like he knew how to squeeze joy out of each and every day. When I am older, I want to have crows feet that will show all who see me that I knew how to live, laugh, and love.

For all who have seen the timeless (ha ha) classic Groundhogs Day with Bill Murray, you know what I mean when I say in the past I have felt like I lived one of those days..."days" really meaning weeks or months where every day feels like the same day, just another date on the calendar. Those days where the minutiae of life seems to hide the passion of life and the doldrums kick in.

Let me tell you about my morning... I woke up to my alarm at 5:50am too tired to get up, because I was forced to break my resolution to get to bed by 10pm. This, being on account of being forced to do having to help my son complete his outline for his science project. He told me it was due today but failed to remember to bring home his library books pertaining to his project...(picture me pulling out my hair and breathing through gritted teeth). Okay, so it wasn't quite his fault that I didn't go to bed on time...I stayed up to watch Biggest Loser after he went to bed. What I learned, though, is that I must be flexible and allow for me time if I am to be happy, no matter how much sleep I don't get.

Back to this morning. After pressing snooze off on my alarm I fell right back into a cozy slumber. At 6:20 I was rudely awoken by Alan Jackson screaming that "she's gone country" all the way from the boys' room. (Luckily, I set their alarm when I tucked them in last night). "Surely, someone will get up to turn that off", I mistakenly thought. Well it got me up, even though the boys were still sound asleep under their blankets.

As they were getting dressed, I made my way to the kitchen to make breakfast. Although my kids would prefer to eat cold cereal every morning of their life, I didn't have any so I thought I'd cook up some bacon, scrambled eggs and toast. Sounded good to me. I got the bacon going in the pan and ran down the hall to ensure the kids were actually moving in the right direction. They weren't, so I had to help speed up the process. Long story short: after several incidences with several kids...I headed back into the kitchen where I had forgotten about the bacon. The kitchen was rapidly filling with thick smoke and breakfast was barely recognizable. On went the fans, open went the doors, out went the pan with charcoal in it. Breakfast, Plan B: eggs and toast. Samuel offered to make the eggs telling me how my grandmother, Nana, taught him how. I was a little hesitant, but desperate for time to make school lunches and get the girls ready to go.

He did an amazing job.

All in all, everyone was ready to go when Aunt Tina's big white bus came to pick them up. The point of all this is although the minutiae of daily life is still there, there is happiness to be found amidst it all. My happiness this morning began with Samuel stepping up to the plate and coming through for me when I really needed him. But it also came from seeing the way Benjamin proudly brushed his in-bad-need-of-a-haircut hair. It was so slicked down with water that it looked glued to his face, but he was so proud of it that I couldn't bear to "fix" it. It is also coming from the sun shining through my window, and the smile on this guys face:

I told you he was cute! My goal today is to find happiness in the little tiny details of life, even the details I might have found annoying, like when Hunter asked, "Aren't we going to have bacon with this?" Yes, dear, if you want it, it's in a greasy pile behind the mailbox.

Happy Groundhogs Day to all, and don't worry, Phil has been wrong in the past....I feel Spring is just around the corner!

Gina.