The Wisdom of a Child

This blog is intended for the enjoyment of the reader, and as a personal memoir to my children. Because of that, I never wanted to use this blog for any political agenda or as a podium for debate; but something astounding happened this week and it has to do with a very polarizing political topic. To me, however, it is not a political topic, it is a human topic, and one that affects our very rights to LIFE, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Last Friday I attended a rally in downtown Tacoma that focused on Religious Freedom. Being a conservative event, the Right to Life folks were down there also. At the CareNet booth I received a life-sized model of a 12-week fetus. It was rubbery and resembled a small baby curled up in the fetal position. I took a small pink one and my dad got one because he knew if the girls saw it they would likely fight over who gets to hold it. (My dad took the dark skinned one because, if given the choice, that's the one Cecelia would have chosen :)

When I got home that day, I showed them to the kids who were fascinated by it. We gave the babies to the girls and then I forgot about them.  Two days later, the kids were at their dad's house and I was in the process of cleaning the girls' room. When I was organizing the mess of toys that surrounded their doll house, I saw the sweetest thing. In the corner of one little room of the house was a tiny plastic bed. This is what I saw:

"Oh how cute!" I thought as I grabbed the misplaced toys and continued to clean.

The next day, the kids were home and as I was tucking Cecelia into bed she kept telling me she wanted her baby. After picking up the wrong one at least four times (that girl has way too many dolls), I realized she wanted the little brown rubbery one....who would have thought!? She wasn't satisfied until I got the bed for her too. I watched as she put the bed right next to her pillow and tucked the baby into its bed. It was one of those 'Oh-my-this-child-is-too-cute!' moments. I left the room with a smile on my face and returned in a little bit with my camera:

The next morning she carried that little baby around as though it were a fresh egg. She rocked it, and cradled it and even showed me how it cried and....walked!








As I took this picture a thought struck me pretty hard. How can a 3 year old child see this 'baby' and recognize it for what it is when these people can't?!!!

Here's to the innocence of children! May they never lose their love for life.

Love to all,

Gina.

Enjoy These Days, They Go By So Fast!

We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time. ~Art Buchwald

 I feel like I am living the days that old women at the grocery store warn me about; the ones that you better enjoy because "they go by so fast".  However, I feel fortunate to recognize that I have entered this season of my life. There are many books on what to do the first years of a child's life; what to feed them, how to dress them, where to take them, what to look for if they are sick. Then, something peculiar happens; those days approach, and time is set to fast forward.

Nobody mentions that some days you won't be able to remember what you did the day before, or that when kids get older you often meet yourself coming back from running them here and there. I remember when my kids were mostly babies, I would think to myself, "I'm never gonna be one of those ultra busy moms who are always rushing kids off here and there and can never keep her house clean." Hahahahahaha! old self you were so naive!

One thing, I've gotten out of my Happiness Project's goals for March (focusing on loving my children), is that it doesn't matter if you are busy. It doesn't matter if the most intimate time you spend with your kids is when you are all in the car together driving to the next destination. The only thing that matters is that in those moments you are in those moments. No that wasn't a typo of duplication, it was an emphasis on living in the here and now.

The most crucial thing I did this month was type my post of March's goals. The simple act of putting it down into a tangible, readable format has profoundly changed my interactions with my kids. I don't have a check and balance system to make sure I am following my goals, but just making them has set the ball in motion. I find myself not thinking anymore about what's next, or what about the past; but rather enjoying the present moment. Whatever that moment presents! If I am at Hunter's baseball practice, you won't find me anymore texting, or checking Facebook on my phone. I'm going to cheer him on, visit with the other parents, and enjoy that I get to sit and hold one (sometimes two or three) of my other kids. If I am at scouts, I will be involved, heart and soul. If I'm driving in the car, I'm going to be having the conversations I don't get to have when we are busy doing other things.

This, I believe, is the key to having no regrets when these days are the bygone days. I may look back and say to my kids' generation, "Enjoy these days, they go by so fast!"; but I will also add with a wink, "I did."

Love to all,

Gina

March Madness and Babble-on!

                                 "Say What?!!"

About a week and a half ago, I had a post perfectly written in my head, but between two baseball practices, three cub scout meetings, a Christian Mother's meeting, chiropractor appointments and work, I couldn't find a moment where my brain was functioning as needed for my words to make enough sense.   Then, I had a moment. The kids went to their dad's last weekend, I got to sleep in, my mind was clear and rested, I sat down to type.... and my bad-from-the-start clearwire modem broke! NO!!

I pouted for about two minutes (hey, when I'm home by myself I can do that) but then I found my secret phone number to the "level 2" tech support (at the risk of sounding prejudice, these are the ones who usually speak clear English). I reached someone in another country who really tried her hardest to speak clearly, but still, I could barely understand her. After asking if I could get a new modem and finding out it would cost me $50 (at least that what I think she said) I told her I wanted to cancel my service. She told me she was sorry and read a scripted deal that she could offer me to get me to stick with them. I honestly couldn't understand what the deal was, but I knew I didn't want it. When I was worried I could be agreeing to something I didn't understand, because I couldn't understand, I asked to speak to someone who spoke English.

A pause, silence...and then the same woman simply spoke louder, and slower! Now I felt like a deaf person with someone screaming at me to get me to hear....it still didn't work.

It took me twenty minutes to cancel my account. I was offered the same "special offer" four times, not just for myself but for a friend also! I wouldn't refer an enemy to this company....okay, maybe an enemy if they were advancing in the middle of battle and I needed time to plan my next strategic move. I'd toss my cell phone at them and say, "Here, this is for you!"

The next day, I called Comcast with one bar of battery power left on my cell phone. I was in a parking lot at a McDonald's and thought I'd call since I was thinking about it. (Yes, having five kids and limited quiet time makes you think and do very odd things). I mentioned my phone could cut us off at any time and he said "No problem". Within five minutes I was all signed up with someone scheduled to arrive at my house the next Tuesday... and 30 seconds of battery life to spare.

That is all I ask for in a company, clear communication and quick and friendly service.

Now I am enjoying one of those moments where you go without something most people take for granted (in this case quick Internet) and then once you get it, you feel like you're sitting in the lap of luxury.

Well, that isn't what I intended to write about tonight at all. I started out with an entirely different topic in mind and then my mind wandered and my fingers followed. In fact, this post has nothing really to do with the whole theme (whatever that is) of my blog.  When I was describing the foreign customer service rep, the Biblical story of Babylon came to mind, but now I realized I was the one who tends to babble on.

Until tomorrow, when I have time to write something more engaging,

Happy Babbling,

Gina


P.S.

How would you like to call your baby,
“Truewilllaughinglifebuckyboomermanifestdestiny

Read more: http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jul2004/Interesting_English.htm#ixzz1poqgkBGM

A Little Love Goes a Long Way

 

If I didn't love my kids the way I do, I would surely be in an asylum right now, rocking back and forth, and humming mindless tunes with a blank stare on my face. There are times when I feel like surely I am on that path, but those moments pass and sanity returns. I am sure that I have the same affect on my children.

The month of March, my Happiness Project will focus on love, the love of my children. This will be a vital focus for me and I hope that by following closely the goals I set forth, the atmosphere in my home will morph from "getting through the day" to "thriving in the moment" for all of us.

I find that although my relationship with my kids is most important to me, I frequently treat them with less courtesy than others, even other children. I guess the reason is because I don't have the responsibility of forming others into well-rounded and respectable adults. That, coupled with the stress of essentially performing the duties of both mother and father, has led my behavior to be ashamedly, less than loving.

Lately, I am so busy performing the necessary tasks of daily single parent living, that I guess I'd have to say I am, sadly, slightly detached from my children's emotions. Not entirely, there are moments when their moods force me to have a heart-to-heart, and I am grateful for those times, but it usually takes an overload of stress for that to happen.

My goals for March are:

1. Give Proofs of Love.

• Initiate affection. It's not that this doesn't happen, I will grab one as they walk past and give him/her a hug and hug them in the morning and before bed, but I've realized that most of the time I am hugging back or returning kisses. I often feel like a tree in a jungle, and I am the favorite climbing tree for five monkeys. When they all want affection at once, I promptly claim my desire for space. I believe that if I initiate affection more frequently they won't all come clamoring at the same time and then those fleeting and precious moments will become more enjoyable for all.
• Spend time with each child and express how special they are to me. Even if it's just a few kind words in passing, I will focus on letting each one know how important they are to me as an individual.
• Do something for each of them "just because I love them". For Hunter, this will be setting up his own 'Snack Cupboard'. That boy is a snack-aholic and asks for a snack every time I turn around. This way he won't have to ask, and if he eats them all up, he'll know that he has to wait until I go shopping again to fill it up. (He could use a little meat on his bones, anyway). Each one, has their own needs and desires and I will do my homework to find out what would put a smile on each of their faces. I truly believe that in making others happy, you find happiness by the wayside.

2. Treat them with the same respect I'd give anyone else.

Isn't that how they learn respect for others? I believe that in any close relationship, spouse, parents, children, siblings, you can get so close that you allow your ugliest self (and I'm not talking me without makeup) to escape the cage of your persona more frequently than with other people. I will definitely be calling upon the Golden Rule and start treating them as I would want to be treated (without forgetting that it is my duty to reprimand and discipline).

3. No Dumping.

I think I have inherited a most unfortunate aspect of communication. When my children do something disagreeable (especially when I warned them beforehand) I retreat to an adult version of the childhood tactic of 'I told you so-isms'. I tend to go on and on repeating the same rant over and over. This has got to end. I've seen eyes roll and jaws tighten when I do this. From now on, I will say my peace and drop it letting the natural consequences of their actions do the talking.

4. I will see my children as God sees them.

Each one has something special they were created for. I will seek out their God-given talents and help them to expand upon them. They were fallen human beings from the time they were born, so why should I expect perfection? I will look past their faults and celebrate their personalities. God loves them how they are and so do I. God puts up with my tantrums and I will put up with theirs.

These are the goals (in addition to February's goals) that I am working on now.  Updates will be posted weekly. I wish an extremely happy day to all!

Love,

Gina.