Finding My Way

"It takes little talent to see what lies under one's nose, a good deal to know in what direction to point that organ." - W.H. Auden

I don't have a GPS gadget in my van, and God thought it would be funny to make me without my internal GPS gadget. It almost goes without saying that, if I am going somewhere, my route takes about 3-4 more turns than the average human being (it's pretty bad when you leave a store at the mall with the intention of going back the way you came, and your four-year-old is more likely to start heading in the right direction than you are).

So, before I left for Spokane, I printed out three sets of directions from Google that went; home to the hotel, hotel to Grandma's house, Grandma's house to the church.  Sometimes, even Google maps make me get lost, however, this time they were successful at getting me from point A to point B.

After waking up early at the hotel, I rounded up the kids and carted them over to their grandmother's house. They were as excited about being there as I was about not having to worry about how they were doing while I was away during the day.

Friday's schedule for the conference started with Mass at 8:15...I arrived at 8:26. After Mass was breakfast and I headed downstairs like a fish out of water. I wandered around having not the slightest idea of what to do or where to go. It never felt so good to see the familiar faces of other participating members from our parish in Tacoma.

The talks were informative and uplifting and strengthened my Catholic faith in a deep way. I met many new people that I know I will most likely see next year, and with whom I will continue to build upon the bond that is there when something as significant as faith is shared. The highlight of the event was the candlelit Rosary walk. With a statue of Our Lady of Fatima held high, the faithful lined up before and after her with candles held in a specially made wind guard that had on it the verses of the song we sang at the end of each decade of the Rosary. Most of us had to have our candles re-lit as the wind kicked up pretty hard. When the procession came to an end, we gathered in the church where the young girls proceeded to bring bouquets of flowers to Mary's shrine.

Afterward, when the evenings events were over and most people had dispersed, I knelt down before the shrine to have a heart to heart with our Blessed Mother. I don't know why, but even having been a wife and mother myself, I've always had a hard time going to our Lady in prayer as most Catholics naturally do. I have wanted to have a devotion to her, as I see the logic in going to God's Mother to ask for her loving intercession, after all, from the cross, Jesus gave her to all of us to be our own spiritual Mother, as He gave us to her.

In my prayer, I told her that if she wanted me to have a greater devotion to her, show me the way. I told her I was sorry that I didn't try harder in the past, and I asked her for a second chance. In the midst of my prayer, I felt comforted, and tears swelled in my eyes. The only other person in the church was a young nun that I didn't know very well. She was kneeling in silent prayer. After a few moments she got up from her position a few pews behind me, went up to the shrine and took a beautiful pink rose from one of the vases that were just recently filled with the fragrant buds. I wondered in my mind what she was doing, thinking she was going to place it in front of another shrine in the church. She walked toward me and asked me, "It's Gina, right?" I replied almost as a question, "Yes." "This is from Mary." she said, handing me the rose.... I was floored.

Without thinking, I said incredulously, "Why did you just say that?!"

"Because it's okay. It's going to be fine." she answered as she hugged me and walked out of the chapel. Tears flowed freely now. I was overwhelmed by the love of my Mother. I understood that she was showing me the direction to her Son, and it was through Her. I certainly don't have to give up my relationship with Jesus by having a devotion to His Mother, that relationship will grow by the guidance of the one who loved Him best.

Most likely, I will continue to get lost trying to get from Point A to Point B, but getting to the Sacred Heart of Jesus is a straight path...directly through the Immaculate Heart of His Mother.


Our Lady of Fatima, pray for us.